Michelle Jeanfreau, associate professor of child and family sciences at the University of Southern Mississippi, US, says there still isn’t a lot of public awareness about financial infidelity. But it could also be something more serious: siphoning money from shared accounts, lying about your income or debts, lending large amounts without consent, making extravagant purchases without permission or keeping bank accounts or credit cards secret. It could be something as seemingly banal as not filling in your partner on tiny purchases here and there, like the after-work happy hours with colleagues. The ’hidden’ nature of financial infidelityįinancial infidelity covers a wide range of behaviours.

But they also say that conquering that taboo around discussing money is key for couples to survive the fallout – or avoid it altogether. The effects can be devastating: a 2018 study showed 76% of married couples involved in financial infidelity say the experience negatively impacted their relationship, and 10% got divorced over it.Įxperts say the reason financial infidelity is so common is because we find money matters in general hard to talk about – and things become even harder when we think we’ve mismanaged our money or used it in a way that our partner might disapprove of. According to a January 2022 survey by US News & World Report, as many as one in three couples deal with financial infidelity in the US alone other surveys suggest the practice is getting more common with each passing year. Talaat had committed what’s known as ‘financial infidelity’: when a person in a couple hides or withholds money-related issues and decisions from their partner. To her, it was a breach of trust that almost derailed their engagement. Even though the Chicago-based couple had gone through counseling which touched on money matters in the lead-up to their wedding, Talaat had still kept his complicated financial situation hidden from Tai. “He didn’t want to tell me the truth about his finances,” says Tai. A marriage counselor can help you look at things objectively.Three months before high-school sweethearts Tai and Talaat McNeely were about to tie the knot, Tai had learned that Talaat had been keeping a secret from her: he had sizable loans and credit-card debt. Your partner may have stopped lying, but you may be judging your partner based on your past experiences.

Consult a marriage counselor: Seek help from a marriage counselor if your partner continues to lie despite all your efforts.

After discussing with your partner, try to reflect on your reaction to see if you can bring any change that will enable honest communication between you and your partner.

Change your attitude: In most cases, your partner may be lying because they cannot handle your reaction to it.

Try to find a way to resolve the problem. They can speak to you without being dishonest about their feelings. If they lie to protect your feelings, assure them that they can be honest with you. Tell them how their habit of lying affects you and undermines the trust factor in the relationship.

Discuss the issue with them: If your partner is a habitual liar, confront them.

Are they lying to cover up their bad habit? Do they lie when you ask for their opinion on something? Are they lying to hide something from you? You need to understand if there are certain patterns to it or if they are a habitual liar.

Observe their habit of lying: First, you need to understand when and why your partner lies to you.

But what can you do about it? Here are some ways to deal with a lying spouse. Perhaps you are right about your partner lying to you. They may hope that you will eventually get a whiff of it. Your partner may not want to continue the relationship with you and sees no reason for telling you everything, so they choose to lie.

To break up with you: This may not always be the case, but it is not impossible.When you ask them, they will deny it to avoid a dispute with you. For example, whenever you are away, they tend to stay outside late at night drinking wantonly. But if they can’t stop doing it, they will lie to you about it.

To avoid confrontation: You may hate your partner doing a certain thing.

Husband lies and hides things